"I know you here this all the time, but..."

[TaigeJensen]

... I have this idea for a sketch."

It sounds cliche, but I've heard more bad sketch ideas than any one human should endure. But every once in a while, someone says something that sparks a new idea that hatches a great sketch.

So I figured I would create an official place in the forums where we could steal ideas from our fans.

If you have any ideas that you think would make a good sketch, feel free to post them here. And this has nothing to do with my writing deadlines...

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-Taige

[SMcCall]

I think it'd be funny if there was a sketch in the style of a documentary about an ongoing rivalry between cat people and dog people that just began to resort to violence.

[TylerJOKEson]

I really want to *make a sketch about* the girl who works at the condom store down the street.



*bang*

[gcz]

...sneaky fucker.

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well then.

[superarab00]

ok i had this idea that would be perfect. I saw the army vid gay version. and david powell (my idol) looked exactly like borat, i was thinking of having him dress up grow a thick mustach and poofy hair in a grey suit walk around new york to random people and asking if they know who he is.


"uhho shit, borat man ahhaha"
david," ello, i would liek to know where the nearest kulkibuchek club is"
"man what the hell is you saying man"
David, " I would very much like to see ze women uh naked to make uh sexy time"
"nah dog ppl round here dont do shit like that"

example over.


u do it ur way but it would be classic

_________________
I hope to be successful with acting

[Keith]

okay, so you guys can grow beards, right?

you do this thing where one guy's like "okay, i bet i can grow a bigger beard than you" and the other guy's like "fuck you man you can't even grow a beard" and it's funny cause that motherfucker can't grow a beard for shit (which is established early in the sketch somehow. like maybe title cards in homage to early film. just think classy.)

so then these guys start with their beard contest, and like three days later or something it's obvious that contestant number two is losing. so he looks online or something and finds this miracle beard grow. he gets some next-dayed and smears it all over his face. it's green or blue or something. a funny color. star iris to the next day and he's got an intense beard with what looks like gold thread mixed in. contestant one is like "what in the shit happened on your face?" doesn't question it. their friends start to notice that the competition is getting really fierce, so they recommend that the two enter the world beard and moustache competition. they do, and they get there and there's like millions of beards. at this point, contestant number two's beard has become ridiculously ornate and has diamonds in it and whatever else.

later the two of them and some other people are standing up for the judging. it's a really tense moment, but then they announce the winner. it's contestant number one! contestant number two looks disappointed.

fade to black, the end.


you can thank me later.

[Kemikal]

[soliduck]

Three unconnected people lose something.
In the process of looking for what theyve lost, they unknowingly find what the other people are seeking. Even though it isnt exactly what they were looking for, what they have found solves their problem to their satisfaction.

Im sure the basic premise has been done plenty of times, but the real meat of it is in how you would personally do it. What would they lose, what would they find and what does that say about them and us as people?

[soliduck]

Alternatively, you could just reenact a bunch of old jokes.

"Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks." put to a visual medium is pretty off the wall and most people might not get it at first.

That, or you could do The Aristocrats.

[engs]

Interesting stuff you guys do. I love giving my opinion, it's a pleasurable sport. So here I go...


I'd like to see the first day that a baby-boomer starts at a firm completely taken up with Generation Y (some Internet-type-media company).

Everyone keeps on whinging about how crap Generation Y are as workers so I thought it would be funny to turn it on it's head. Like when the baby-boomer rocks up for work at 8am and the office is still locked and no one rocks up till 10am. Or trying to remain on a fitball whilst balancing your laptop and writing emails. Boardroom meeting is replaced by beanbags and enormous cups of triple shot espresso. Induction videos on where the company facebook page is... you get the pic(ture)

engs____

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1 1 was a race horse. 2 2 was 1 2. 1 1 1 1 race 2 2 1 1 2.
Oh, and there are 10 types of people in this world: the ones that know binary and the ones that don't.

[ThorBrockmartin]

The whole event and filming takes place with someone simply waking up in the morning in bed. While lying there this person (a man without any reason for continuing to live, could easily be portrayed by David Powell my favorite) starts to think about ways to get out of living, working, or just plain doing anything. (Lots of voice overs?) As we see early on when this man awakes all he has by his bedside is an alarm clock and a cell phone.

This exceptionally LAZY, tired, worn-out, and fatalist human is unable to figure out how to get out of life. He spends minutes in bed thinking about what to do. Should he hang himself? Too much work. Should he murder someone? Effort, planning, and just plan messy. Should he rob a bank and at least risk making money before going to jail? Many things enter this mans tedious brain.

This is where my story is leading. Without ever getting out of his bed he conjures up a way to never even have to leave his bed, get arrested, be carried away by "authorities" and receive 3 free paid meals a day without doing a thing. How? With the use of his cell phone he downloads child porn and then calls the "authorities" and tells them what he has done. The final scene is when the police break down his door, look at the porn on his cell phone, and pick him up out of bed and take him away to prison. Moral of the story.....laziness can win over our police state any day of the week?!!

I give anyone the right to use this pathetic story line. I just want to see it get made and I am willing to provide $500 to the first idiot(s) to give it a try! Email me at kbellw@optonline.net

[AlanPeterson]

2 things that you could probably do with ease for some decent results...

wheelin' and dealin' snake oil sales man schtick

"barry's coffin closeouts" or the like

shot unnaturally outdoors, with the sun to bright in the hosts eyes, talking everything must go sales bullshit, we've seen this bit done a million times, but the idea here is its an outdoor coffin emporium

guy in cheesy bad ghoul make up sits up

"children": Grandpa!
ghoul make up man too young to be a grandfather: "I'd come back to life for these prices!"


other lines could be like "you were going to bury your mother in this shitbox"? woman gets uncomfortable - not at the disrespectful tone, but that she paid more up the rode at joey's jaundice junkyard or whatever.

OR

see that brawny commercial?

Incompitent father and son hovering over a spill

dad- "3 sheeter"
kid - "4 sheeter"

mother to save the day and effectively market to the stay at home mom by empowering her position in a lousy exsistance - 1 sheeter!

have you seen this commercial?

if so, or if not and you eventually do, thats all there is to it

what about the same set up, but when it comes to mom, they show a really fat woman, dressed terrible, stained sweat pants, cigarette with like entirely too much ash hanging off the end with her hands in her pants on an outdated couch ala Al Bundy

"NO SHEETER" then flicks the smoke and it goes out in the puddle of juice where it goes from there is up to you, melodrama to the max with the old bait and switch

alan.p.peterson@gmail.com

[TylerTwoStep]

To parody the upcoming legal battle between the city of Seattle and the Supersonics, I think it would be amusing to portray the court scene as a basketball game.

The two counsels would be the two teams, and the arguments they make against the other side would count as "points." The arguments would not be serious of course, but as silly as you would want them to be. The points would shown at the bottom of the screen, just like in the NBA.

In "Courtball," the judge could represent the referee. And two commentators/newscasters could be sitting on the jury stand. A few segements could be devoted to stretching, throwing a document around like a basketball, and a court illustrator drawing a basketball-esque picture. Bad thing is I can't think of an ending.

Another possible addition to Poykpac sports?